Thoughts from the Pastor's Pen

Have you ever noticed that there are a lot of angry people in the world?  This is seen in the media, in movies, and in the attitudes of many everyday people.  Why are people so angry?  What is the driving force behind this thing that causes so much trouble?

Most of our anger comes from believing that "things" should be different.  Whatever those "things"  might be in your life.  Something else that causes anger is a frustration that we cannot make another person or people do what we want them to do.

Most anger is, in fact, generated from selfishness.  We want things to go our way, and when they don't we get hurt.  Angry people have a tendency to demand things, like fairness, appreciation, agreement, or a willingness to do things "their way."  When angry people fail to have their demands met they are disappointed and this disappointment becomes anger.

Anger is not very often constructive, but rather destructive.  In a moment of anger we can say and do things we would never otherwise consider.  Things are said and done in anger that can never be taken back or repaired.  Relationships of all kinds have been destroyed by a hasty word spoken in anger. Ecclesiastes 7:9 Tells us: " Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools."

We often think of anger as just an emotion, however it is also very physical.  Dr. Walter Cannon, pioneer researcher at Harvard University, describes what happens when we lose our temper: Respiration deepens; the heart beat rises; blood pressure goes higher; the blood is shifted from the stomach and intestines to the heart, central nervous system, and the muscles; the process of the alimentary canal cease; sugar is freed from reserves in the liver; the spleen contracts and discharges its contents of concentrated corpuscles and adrenaline is secreted.  The next time you get mad think about all that!

We know that anger has different degrees ranging from mild or a little put out to fury and rage.  All of us have experienced all of these at sometime in our lives.  Anger can be caused by many sources, both internal and external.  You might be angry at a specific person, or an event, etc.  You might be worrying or brooding over something which you have no control over, for instance: family problems, work related issues, or perhaps health -- any number of things can lead us to frustration and anger.

Anger is a most unwelcome intruder into our lives and can rear its ugly head when it is least welcome and sometimes when it is not expected.  So what can we do about it?  Is there any defense against this monster who wishes to bring unrest and turmoil  to us and those we love?  There are some elementary principles we can follow that should help.  We need to be aware when we start to become angry and take steps to ward off disaster.  When anger happens we tend to jump to conclusions , and some of those conclusions are inaccurate.  Try to follow some of these suggestions the next time an angry storm approaches:

1. When you next feel anger, slow down, and think through your response.
2. Don't say the first thing that comes to mind.  Take a moment and think carefully about what you want to say.
3. Listen to the other person and take time to answer.  They might have a valid point of view.
4. Remember James 1:19 "Wherefore, my beloved brother, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."
5. If you are angry and not able to control yourself, simply remove yourself from the situation until you cool down. [When a person calms down, this means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also allowing your internal responses to lower heart rate and blood pressure.  As you calm down you let your feelings subside.]
6. Take a deep breathe from the diaphragm.
7. Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase, such as "take it easy" or quote a Bible verse.
8. Think of something pleasant to take your mind off the anger causing situation.
9. Think of Jesus acting and looking like you do when you are angry.
10. Remind yourself that getting mad is not going to fix anything, it will not make anything better, in fact it will make things worse.
11. Be logical, when angry we can become irrational.  The world is not out to get you. Don't let things steamroll from one thing to another.
12. Sometimes our anger is well founded, caused by real and inescapable problems.  The best way to handle these problems is not to focus on finding a solution but rather focus on how you can face the problem with determination to see it through favorably.
13. Stay away from those who will add fuel to your flame.

These are just a few thing to help when you face the next angry moment. Try these suggestions, if they fail, you haven't lost anything, but you might have some new weapons to wage the war on anger.